People are very, VERY confused about what it means to be an Alpha male. I recently watched a video where the creator tries to show the stupidity of the idea of being an Alpha male.
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In this video he confuses the difference between someone TRYING to be Alpha and someone actually being Alpha.
And the difference really comes down to mindset, NOT behavior.
2 different guys can engage in the exact same behavior and in one instance it can be seen as simping and pandering, but in another instance when done by a different guy, it could be perceived as magnanimous and kind.
What’s the difference?
The difference is in the perspective of the viewer and in the mindset of the doer.
Let’s use a TOTALLY hypothetical example that has nothing to do with my life or anything that I ever did before *sigh* and say a guy wakes up to cook breakfast for a woman that he slept with but didn’t actually have sex with.
If the guy was some handsome celebrity like Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio, no question, he must be doing that because he’s a nice guy. He doesn’t HAVE to treat women nicely so when he does, it’s a choice he’s making.
On the other hand, if the guy is perceived as low value ie someone she’s not attracted to, then she may see that behavior as pandering or simping.
However, what really matters is he mindset of the guy. And this is where thinking of compliance levels come in.
If the guy cooks for her because he’s so grateful that he got to spend a bit of time with her and would likely feel upset if she never wanted to see him again then he’s engaging in the behavior, cooking, to get something.
However, his mindset could just as easily be that he just wants to do something nice and if she never talked to him again and ghosted him, he wouldn’t care. Getting something for the act of kindness means nothing to him.
So, ladies, you can get this very wrong and mis-perceive a guy. The classic example of this is in Bridget Jones Diary where Bridget mistakes Mark Darcy gentleness and kindness for weakness and Daniel Cleaver’s strutting and bragadoccio as strength and Alphaness.
Fortunately, most women figure out the difference by the time they’re in their mid 20s unlike poor Bridget who is a cautionary tale.
On the other hand, it often takes men until their late 20s or early 30s before they have enough of a track record with themselves for their mindset to shift.
